Dear Mom, it’s ok to hate change. I want to be the first one to tell you that. It’s ok to hate change – promise. After all, I’m right there with you. I hate change. I always have. I’d prefer to have all my ducks in a row, day after day, over and over and I’d be content to keep it that way.
Can you relate? I’m sure you can. Hang on and I’ll explain why it’s ok to hate change and what you can do about it – or if you even should do anything about it. Before I do, I have something special I’d like to share with you first!
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Why I Hate Change
Tell me, why do you hate change? Have you ever actually thought it? As moms, why do we hate change?
For me, it’s because I’m a control freak, and am scared to try new stuff. Most people can’t believe that I hate change, in fact, it surprises a lot of people. But, it’s true. I’ve struggled with changes since I was little.
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Order Is Great
I like order, cleanliness and for stuff to have a place that it belongs. I also value security and having a plan. For example, I love going to a restaurant and ordering the same thing every time.
I don’t want to go to a new restaurant, I’d like to go to the same one that I’ve been going to for years and order the exact same thing. I know just what I will order before we go, which is why I picked that restaurant in the beginning.
Try Something New
I’ve never understood how someone can try something new at a restaurant every time they go – how do you even decide where to dine? I’d be so disappointed if I didn’t like the food I ordered, and when you are a stay at home mom, who barely gets the chance to go on a date with your husband to begin with, I want to make sure the food is good!
Change In Action
Here is a good example of my disdain for change in action – with a surprise ending. A few years ago, my husband and I had the luxury of going on an afternoon date because some good friends were babysitting our kids.
The plan was to go to a movie and get dinner at Chili’s right before the movie. You see, I love Chili’s – I like a few different things on their menu, but for the most part I love their burgers. I had my whole dinner planned out in my mind and we had just enough time to eat before our movie.
Yes, we bought our movie tickets ahead of time. What we hadn’t planned on was that Chili’s would be overrun with a youth baseball team celebrating a big win. The whole place was crawling with kids in cleats and dusty jerseys. We didn’t have time to wait. I was super frustrated, getting very anxious that we were going to miss our movie, and I was hungry.
I hate change.
Find Someplace New
We didn’t get to enjoy Chili’s that night. Instead, I begrudgingly trudged around the outdoor shopping mall to find somewhere else to eat before our movie started. I was not happy. I was still dreaming of my Chili’s hamburger and didn’t want anything else.
Thankfully, my husband is a gem and deals with change so much better than I do. He is always able to lighten the mood and make me laugh and before I knew it we were walking into a restaurant we’d never been to before – Café Rio.
Have you ever been here?! I did not want to go there and was not happy that we were trying to someplace new. I hate new about as much as I hate change. Remember, it’s ok to hate change.
My husband practically had to drag me to the counter to order something and I needed to hurry because our movie started soon. I settled on tacos and we grabbed a table to sit and eat. I’ll have you know that our dinner was delicious! Absolutely and totally yummy! Which I was not expecting. We had the best dinner and the food was so good!
Change Is Often A Good Thing
Café Rio is now one of our family favorite restaurants to go to. Had we not been forced to try something new, I never would’ve gone there. Which, looking back, I’m so glad we were forced to try it!
Change is often a good thing – I don’t know that we ever would’ve tried Café Rio had we not been forced to. It’s still ok to hate change, but, it’s not ok to stay that way.
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It’s not Ok to Stay That Way
Change is one of those things you most likely either love or hate. If you are lucky enough to love change, then I’ll bet you probably hate something else.
The key is to not get stuck in your inability to change. It’s ok to hate change, but you still need to change. Life is not perfect, it won’t be lovely all the time, and the sooner you figure that out the better. It’s ok to hate change, but you still need to change anyways. I try to tell myself this all the time. I can hate it, but I still have to do it.
Where Is God In The Change?
Just today, I was having a good chat with a dear friend at the pool. I don’t have to tell you that this week has been hard, because I’m sure you can understand.
Life feels very heavy right now and I often ask myself where God is in all of this? What is He doing? Why is letting life be so hard right now?
God Is Right There
Mom, He is there. He’s never left. God is right beside you – all the time. When life is hard, and when change is hard, He’s right there holding your hand if you let Him. He never said it would be easy, but He did promise to make it better – but you have to let Him.
I struggle with change because I prefer to be in control. At some point, you realize you are not in control, no matter how much you really want to be. God is in control and I can trust Him to take care of me. I seem to forget that a lot.
Giving Up Control
I have a tendency to pick up the reins and control my life again – but when life is spinning out of control, like it is right now, we have to surrender to Him. Let Him be in control. Let Him work out the details.
It’s still ok to hate change, but don’t stay there. Ask God for help and to give you courage as you make changes. Ask Him to give you Peace as you deal with changes. He will, I promise!
How To Help Yourself Change
It’s ok to hate change, but you can’t get stuck there – hating change so much that you are unable to move. Change is hard, and it’s not always fun.
It’s ok to hate change, but you can’t get stuck there – hating change so much that you are unable to move. Share on XFor me, I try not to get too hung up on how hard the change will be and instead try to focus on what I can learn in the process (while I’m kicking and screaming). I rarely want to change. Change is not something I look forward to or seek out.
I tend to change when I’m forced to, and in the process, I usually twist myself up in a pretzel dealing with the stress along the way. It’s just the way I roll. But, hear me, change is necessary in life.
You can’t stay the same or you will never get where you want to go. Change is inevitable and it’s important. It’s necessary that we all change at some point in our lives, but it’s still ok to hate change.
Don’t Stay Stuck
Don’t let your fear of the unknown keep you stuck. It’s ok to hate change, but don’t let that be your excuse to stay there.
Don’t let your fear of the unknown keep you stuck. It’s ok to hate change, but don’t let that be your excuse to stay there. Share on XChange is hard, it’s hard for a lot of people.
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Mom, I just want you to know that I can relate and that I hate it too! But, let’s do this one together and still change for the better!
Want to talk about it? I’m here. Reach out. I’m happy to listen and pray for you. Let me know if you can adapt to change easily, or if it’s a hard process for you too.
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